i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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