just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
