i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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