you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
