xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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