also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
