Tell her she can't have a vagina
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
