are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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