So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
