i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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