Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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