On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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