Do you still have your period?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize