he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
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What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
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Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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