in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
