How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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