I think I am morally bankrupt
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
