even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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