I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
ttyl tear gas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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