we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
