so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Randomize
