where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
