Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Sober January is a disaster.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
