Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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