Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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