i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
