Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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