Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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