That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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