i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
