He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
