So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
