My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
