So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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