4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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