we have pet lesbian snakes
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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