does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
