literally had 100 drinks last night.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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