Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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