Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
