After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
