Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
