dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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