I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Someone came in the potted fern
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
