I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I got inside last night via doggy door
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
