I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
