is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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