the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
