ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
