last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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