dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
