Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
