TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Did we literally take a cab across the street
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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