Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
