are you so shy because you have an std?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
