So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
