SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he quoted the bible to break up with me
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
