My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
