She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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