the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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