You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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