first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
